When Paul and I started talking about our wedding, we knew it was going to be utterly different from the norm. No tux (he’s wearing a kilt), no big white, poofy satin confection of a gown (I look far better in purple than in white), no three-tiered white cake, no caterer.
In short, we are having none of the usual trappings of the Wedding Industrial Complex as we know it. We wanted this to be about friendship, community, and most of all, FUN.
In all of this I found myself questioning everything that is normally done at weddings, just because ‘everyone does it’. At most weddings, the bride tosses her bouquet to the single women there who have often been pushed out by well-meaning relatives in hopes she will catch the bouquet, signaling that she will be the next one to walk down the isle.
I can’t think of anything more fun than putting single people on the spot at an event that already makes them overly-conscious of being unmarried, and making sure it is pointed out publicly how single they are.
This was one of those traditions that I loathed in concept, but is so ingrained in our culture that I couldn’t imagine not doing it. Then it dawned on me- why not just take the damned tradition and turn it on it’s ear? It’s not like we are doing anything else by the book!
My first thought was that this is a celebration, and I want everyone included, married or single. So I *could* toss the bouquet and have everyone down there, but who’s going to want it?
And if not the bouquet, what could I throw that everyone *would* want? What could I include that every woman there, married or single would find appealing.
To me, sex toys seemed the obvious answer. Who doesn’t love an orgasm?
I shot off an email to Eden Fantasys who got back that they loved the idea, and would not only provide the bouquet alternative for my lucky wedding guest, but would provide one for a blog give-away as well!
So my friends, online and off, I am looking to spread a little happiness for my big day.
Happiness in this case will come in the form of a discretely wrapped(Star Wars wrapping paper FTW!) Triple Indulgence Rabbit Vibrator. From Eden Fantasys website-
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I once was told that when arguing, you have two choices: you can be right, or you can be happy.
I will give you the advice my mom gave me, if he ever gives you problems, just tie him up with bed sheets and beat him with a broom. Congratulations
Being completely single, I can’t really give you marriage advice, so I will just say this: be happy.
Well, in light of this giveaway, I want to say the secret to a happy marriage is multiple orgasms.
I just got married (for the second time) last year and three of my friends have gotten married since. Our priest calls my husband and me “a mature couple” – we’re in our late thirties and I must say that I’ve learned so much after young marriage, messy divorce, horrible dating, and finding my best friend was Mr. Right all along. My advice to you is: Whenever you two argue (and you eventually will) make sure that you take the time to swallow your pride and take responsibility for anything you’ve done to contribute to the arguement. Anyone can accuse someone of doing wrong, but it takes a really strong, loving human being to admit what wrong they are responsible for. This has saved my husband from completely feeling that he was losing every arguement when I would admit that maybe I was taking something the wrong way or perhaps could’ve left better instructions for how I wanted something done. It has helped our marriage immensely!
Laugh often, and have separate bank accounts!
I’m not married but I did read somewhere something along the lines of “‘Never go to bed angry’ is complete BS.” I totally agree. In my own personal experience, fights don’t get resolved at 2 am when you’re both horribly tired to the point of babbling rudely and incoherently. There’s a saying from a Russian fairy tale “The morning is wiser than the evening.” (Read it in a college English class, wish I could remember the title of the story…)
I say, go to bed angry when you have to, then fix it up the next morning over breakfast and something caffeinated.
When I was a psychologist and we did marital counseling, we always said that when a couple had problems, sex was always the first thing to go and when a couple tried to work things out it was always the last thing to come back. So keep the sex alive! When you see that start to slip – bring it back! Go on a vacation or do whatever you can to nurture it or figure out the problem, don’t ignore it and let it go. Sounds silly to newlyweds but something to remember for later when real life gets in the way…
While I will be there with a chance to catch it, I’m really not that coordinated, so I want to go ahead and try to win one as well. . .
My advice, communication. . .always keep the lines of communication open (and NOT through e-mails, tweets, or blog comments.) Make sure if you disagree or have another opinion, share it THEN and don’t let it build up until you just explode with rage.
And, don’t let the romance die. Tell each other you love the other as often as possible and live each day together like it could be your last.
See you Saturday!!!
As hostess of the after party tweet up shouldn’t I automatically win???
After 13 years of being happily married I have lots of advise, but the best thing is to remember why you fell in love and help that love grow through the years. You have to talk about everything, be open with each other, and listen. Make time for each other. When you are always there for each other, everything else falls into place. Remember that you are a couple and that together you can defeat any challenge life throws your way.
Congratulations and we love you guys!
One of my favorites is a little rhyme from Ogden Nash:
To keep your marriage brimming,
With love in the loving cup,
Whenever you’re wrong admit it;
Whenever you’re right shut up.
And this isn’t really advice, just some words of wisdom that I ran across when I started debating if I would ever get married again or just stay single forever….
Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence. Second marriage is the triumph of hope over experience.
Love you guys!!
Do everything you can to build your man up and show him that you are proud of him and respect him. In turn, he should do everything he can to show you that he’s willing to listen (even when you don’t want an “answer” to your problem) and that your feelings matter.
And have LOTS and LOTS of sex. Every chance you get that is not afflicted by illness (headache, flu, etc) have sex. Your marriage will be all the better!
Lots of Patience, Lots of forgiveness and remember to have sex once a month
My husband and I are celebrating our third wedding anniversary tomorrow and I think one of the greatest assets to our relationship is the friendship we have. We are completely comfortable around each other, know what the other is thinking and enjoy doing the same things. (He games on the XBOX, I game on my laptop and we call it quality time, haha.) We try to keep things low on the drama front and try to respect each other. (All the while calling out “Bitchface!” and “Slutmuffins!” across the house. “Pookie” and “dearest” just aren’t our thing.)
Most importantly… have fun. That’s what having a partner in life is about!!
Advice for Paul…The woman is always right. If you can remember this then there will be no fighting.
Keep both toys, you might break the first one haha.. Congratulations again guys, may you truly have a long and successful marriage!