"I Was Being Bad in My Room."

As most of you already know, Brendan is my problem child. Sweet when he wants to be, too smart for his own damn good, but my most difficult kid nonetheless. Every day is an adventure with him, and I think if I ever stopped coloring my hair I’d find several surprise gray ones courtesy of my son.

So why was I surprised when he got up from his nap naked today? Anything is possible with him, I should know this by now. The nakedness would have been nothing had he not uttered the words no mother of a 3 year old ever wants to hear.

“Mommy, I was being bad in my room.”

This child scales furniture, runs out every open door, and gets into everything without batting an eyelash. So I knew as soon as he said that it must have been pretty bad. I wasn’t disappointed.

Hand soap. LARGE bottle of hand soap. Dumped all. over. his. bed. Some on the rug, some on the wall, quite a bit of it on the carpet as well. Judging by his naked, sticky self, he’d had quite a time playing in it. I never heard a peep, so I can only guess he’s finally learned if he is going to be out of bed during naptime, he’d best do it quietly.

20 minutes later he’s still naked, but clean. Bed, walls and mattress are wiped down and sheets are in the wash.

Is it five o’clock yet??

Reddit

27 Comments

  1. I’m just gong to go ahead & have a drink for you…because I have one just like him! Wasn’t it almost kind of worth it, since you were able to enjoy at least half and hour of peace and quiet?

  2. hoo boy… that’s a classic. I’m glad CJ’s not old enough to read, or he might get some ideas from this one!

  3. Jennifer says:

    Brendan, Brendan, Brendan. What are we going to do with you!?

  4. Anissa says:

    Tell me you took some pictures! I guess on the brightside it wasn’t paint or something difficult to clean up!

  5. Elizabeth says:

    I agree with Anissa-it could have been diaper cream, or Vaseline smeared into all the stuffed animals. I bet everything smells clean now!

    But still, LMAO at “I was being bad in my room”!

  6. Shauna says:

    You’ll laugh about this later. Much later… Like when you’re retelling it at his wedding!

  7. Deborah says:

    Could have been worse… much worse!!! My one year old pulled a similar stunt… with her own feces! Lovely!!! ;-)

  8. Tulipmom says:

    “Hi Honey, the kids are in the family room. I’m leaving. Don’t wait up for me.”

    Now get in your car and go!!

  9. Cris says:

    My son made a race-track with maple syrup on our living room carpet when he was three. He was up at the crack of dawn-I was surely still in bed with a hangover as drinking was the only way I survived his 3rd year.
    The next day he fed an entire pound of butter to the dog-who then puked everywhere.
    Did I mention that maple syrup has a dye that does not come out of carpets… even with a sweaty professional carpet cleaning man giving it his all for hours on end?
    Good times… good memories.

  10. Toni says:

    I’m gonna join Southern Fried Mom with a drink! Sorry you had a hell of a day!

  11. kerry says:

    oh yeah… it could have been worse!! Soap I can do – other sticky (stinky!) stuff I can’t!

  12. Melissa says:

    oh no!!!! Well at least he thought to tell you about it so that it wasn’t a big surprise at bedtime….lol. Gotta love this age and those crazy things they justify as a “great idea in their heads!!

  13. Cate says:

    Ahhh….all the wonderful things I have to look forward to. Joy!

  14. Dana says:

    Well, just be thankful he isn’t 12 or 13 and you found that. Just wait!

  15. kim says:

    Well you know if you kept the hand soap on top of the fridge that never would’ve happened.

  16. I just returned home from a movie date with myself. Sometimes, you just have to escape. This time, however, I should have driven over and taken you with me.

    Here’s to really clean (not to mention honest) kids!

  17. Beckie says:

    Just remember… It’s ALWAYS 5:00 somewhere!

  18. Natalie says:

    Hey, well, half of bathtime is done already, right? Usually when my son is in a room getting in trouble all by himself, it’s because he’s hiding the fact that he’s pooping his pants.

  19. Hey, look at it this way. He had enough soap on him that you shouldn’t have to give him a bath for at least a week. That’ll free up more time for cocktails!

  20. Wendy says:

    Ooof…oh man..that’s gotta suck – is there something in the air because my son has been a holy terror since this weekend – throwing tantrums because the wind blows – oy..

  21. Oh God, I feel your pain. Mine just emptied the contents of his closet last week, and among his discoveries was a bottle of shampoo. Don’t ask me what shampoo was doing in his closet, but there you have it.

    Never a dull moment!

  22. Oh goodness! That made me tired just thinking about cleaning that all up!

  23. Elle says:

    OMG – poor you for having to clean up that!

  24. Heather says:

    At least he smelled good.

  25. Summer says:

    LOL That sounds like something my oldest would do. I swear he’s running a secret experiment to see at what point I will snap. And now he’s got a little brother as an assistant. LOL

  26. I was going to comment that at least he smelled clean but Heather beat me to it.

    BWHAHAHA!

    Oh, it’s good to be back and know that I’m not the only mom suffering at the hands of her children.

    Wink, wink.

  27. Jackie says:

    I like Beckie’s comment: “it’s always 5:00 somewhere!” This post inspired me to post some pics of my son at my blog :-D

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