Thanks to our founding fathers failing to write into the Constitution about a woman’s fundamental right to self-pleasure, the ass-backward state of Alabama is upholding a ban on the sale of sex toys. No, I WISH I was joking. Apparently sex toys lead to immoral behavior like prostitution and molestation. I don’t know about you guys, but just using the one little toy I have doesn’t exactly inspire me to go start screwing random strangers for money. Heck, it doesn’t even inspire me to sleep with my own husband, much less anyone else’s. I love men, I really do, but this is a law obviously pushed by a man with a little penis complex.
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Oh dear. I hope that law also excludes all areas west of I 65 like it does for porn. Apparently, if you live west of I-65 that means you aren’t prone to prostitution & molestation, unlike those backward sickos who live north and east of it. And the locale makes perfect sense because Montgomery IS north and east of I-65…with it being the state capital, god knows it is full of perverts out to screw anyone they can!
Heck, it doesn’t even inspire me to sleep with my own husband, much less anyone else’s.
I literally laughed out loud.
This is just priceless! Only in Alabama? I wonder…
One more reason to move back to VA!
As a male I have to ask: Just what are those chaps in Alabama afraid of? It sounds like someone is afraid of being put on the shelf in favor of Big John Hancock, the vibrating fireman. I don’t understand this sort of Bible belt hysteria. I am from Texas, were everything, I fear, is a potential sex toy. For we Texans jump at the chance to proclaim: Right To Bear Arms!